Aside from double the work, double the fun, double the trouble, and double the joy, being a mom of multiples has created a monster, not in them, in ME. I thought at first I was just slightly crazy, too Type A, or maybe OCD (okay, I am all of those things but that’s not the point…) but then I talked to other MoM’s and realized we’re really all the same.
So if you’ve never thought about the dynamic of what twins do to their moms, here’s an inside peak:
- I frantically obsess over being fair. I have two babies. Babies are very needy. When one was eating, the other was normally crying. It’s hard to be fair with twins. Everything they do seems to be a competition. They’ve met all of their milestones including producing new teeth within mere days of each other. It’s like an unspoken communication with them. “Hey sis, I just took a step, you should too!” I stress about buying clothes and toys. I stress about taking pictures. I stress about memory books and keepsakes. Will they care when they grow up? I have no idea. But I care now. I’m their only advocate at this point.
- I’m also a little obsessed about matching and coordinating their outfits. My girls are identical. We didn’t find this out until their first birthday. Even before knowing they were identical, I love dressing them alike. During my pregnancy, I swore I wouldn’t be that MoM but in fact, I am. I just hope I can get my obsession under control by the time they are old enough to care. I dream of the day they are 4 or 5 and begging me to wear the same outfit. Wouldn’t that be cute? No? ha! It’s going to be such a blast watching them grow up.
- One question I am asked rather often is in regards to their names. If someone hears me say one name, they ask what the other one’s name is. People seem to really love the when twin names are matchy matchy. My girls do not have matching names. Or well, they sort of do. Wanna know how I named them? 1. I wanted their names to have three syllables like their big sister. 2. I wanted their names to have similar sounds. 3. I picked Baby A vs. Baby B strictly based on them being in alphabetical order. And it turns out their names match their personalities perfectly. Their names do NOT start with the same letter. (I was very adamantly against this. Each member of our family has different first letters.) They do not rhyme. They are not made up. They don’t even have the same cultural background. They just sound good together. If you compare all three girls, they all have a way to be shortened to a nickname. In some form, all their names have the “ee” sound at the end of their name. The twins do have rhyming middle names but mostly out of coincidence. And you thought naming one child was difficult…
And just because I don’t want to leave you hanging, My girls names are: Lillian (Lily) Rose – Orange; Natalie (Nally) Marie – Purple; and Sophia (Sophie) Lea (pronounced LEE, not LEAH) – Pink. I don’t hide my girls’ names or anything, it’s just easier to relate for strangers.
- So on top of being overly aware of being fair, I also have an undying need to make sure they all get individual time. My youngest two daughters are twins. I cannot change that. No matter what happens in life, they will always have that. I could go overboard and make sure they don’t develop a complex. Heaven forbid they ever have to feel like a twin. No, that’s not what I mean by giving them individual time. It does however mean that tandem nursing really wasn’t for me. I rock them to sleep separately. They don’t take a bath together (although, for completely different reasons.) I try to spend equal time cuddling with them. And as they get older, they will take turns going on special errands with myself or Princess Daddy.
Us twin moms are quite the funny creature. We have inside jokes that others don’t understand. We are like magnets that somehow find each other randomly in public. You don’t know how many times I’ve said or had someone say, “You have twins too? How funny!” Heck my best friend is a twin mom. The first thing we ever bonded over was both being pregnant with twins. Magnets. And above are just some of the things we do and understand about each other. Thoughts that most people never even think about. I know I sure didn’t before I had twins.