Last week I decided to join my local Moms of Twins Club. I went out for my first dinner with them and had a really good time. There was however a few awkward moments when the conversations turned to heavy drinking as a coping mechanism for dealing with twins. It seemed as if it was all in jest and I truly hope that is the case but it did leave me wondering if I really will fit in with this group of women. Luckily, it seems there were still a couple of us that never hopped on that alcohol boat so I’m going to give it some more chances.
The whole experience though, it really got me thinking. Where exactly do I fit in? I have very few real life friends. I have many, many acquaintances and a few mommy buddies plus a great big mostly awesome family so I don’t feel lonely so anything. I’m just not sure where I fit. I don’t have a home church or a book club. I’m not a room mom at my daughter’s preschool. I’m not big on late nights or parties or clubs. An ideal evening includes cuddling up in my PJs and watching a movie while the kids are safely tucked into bed. We’ve literally only been on TWO date nights since the twins were born. Tucking my kids into bed means a lot to me. They are only going to be little for so long and I will miss this. So we take our dates in the afternoon or late morning evening.
I don’t drink alcohol. (I don’t even drink soda.) I don’t smoke. (Seriously, gross. I won’t even go to bars, restaurants or anything that have smoking.) I’ve never done any drug (Not even tried them.) I didn’t sleep around as a teen. I was 17 before I even had my first kiss. I got engaged at 19 and married when I was 20. I don’t say any of this because I think I’m better than the people out there that did all those things before settling down (or still do those things…) I don’t think I’m better than anyone. In fact, when the whole world around me seems to think these are the norm, I somehow end up feeling like the freak. I’m the one left out. I talk about my lack of drinking or drugs or experimenting and I’m called a prude or worse yet I’m told I missed out on living life or that I’ll go crazy with a midlife crisis full of regrets for never having those experiences. The thing that gets me the most though is that people automatically assume I make these choices because I’m living my life in some Godly way. Why does God have to be my excuse for living a healthy lifestyle or making these choices for myself? My religious preferences shouldn’t have anything to do with how I fit in.
So it just leaves me wondering… Am I really that bad? Is it so hard to find a place for me? Please tell me there are other “freaks” out there. Shoot me a message and tell me your story.