Before Mommy Con, I had no idea what Birth Without Fear was. I didn’t know who January Harshe was. I had no idea what to expect. So here I came in, blind and mostly unaware of what would happen over the next 45 minutes. I have three daughters. I’m not pregnant. I don’t really foresee having any more children… So you wouldn’t really think my take-away would be all that powerful.
But it was.
Oh. My. God. It was.
I’ve shared the birth story of my twins before. It was extremely traumatic for me. It was traumatic for people that don’t even know me and just read about it. Their story was scary. What I haven’t shared though is very much about my first birth story. It was traumatic in more subtle ways. And when January shared her story about the birth of her daughter, born with no signs of infection but as a parent being treated like a criminal simply from having GBS and wanting to do things a more natural way, I was moved.
I was left for weeks after hearing January speak thinking how much I wanted another baby to fix everything that happened, to help me heal, to do things “the right way” (according to my mind.) Luckily, Princess Daddy reminded me just how irrational of a decision that was but still…
Part of healing from our births is figuring out the facts. My parenting was in question that day my oldest daughter was born. I had been a parent all of a few hours and my decisions were already being questioned. I wasn’t given the chance to give informed consent or to even research my options. I was blindsided by a broken system and treated like a child myself. And sure, I was a young mother but I was very much aware of what I was doing. I was married and had tried for that baby for two years, leaving two angels in our past before her.
Having another baby isn’t going to heal me but what I realized from the Birth Without Fear seminar is that knowledge will. Knowledge and spreading the word and helping other moms to not have to feel the way I felt in any of the last five years, that’s where I heal. Telling my story and standing up for what is right, that’s where I heal.
My daughters are amazing. They are beautiful and healthy and happy. I am in love with them. I am in love with their father and our family is bonded by this unity. Our healing comes from leaning on one another.
So that’s my takeaway. That’s the awesomeness that I learned on that October day in Kansas City.
Did you have a traumatic birth? What has helped you heal?
If you want to share your birth story with the world, please contact me. I’m always looking for guest posts for my blog.